Reading the Room: A Simple Tool for New Situations

Reading the Room: A Simple Tool for New Situations

Any time you step into a brand-new situation-whether that’s starting college, heading into your first job, or even walking into a new social group-it’s normal to feel anxious. Your brain is scanning: Do I belong here? How do I act? What’s expected? That worry doesn’t mean you’re unprepared. It means you’re human.

One quick tool I teach is to “mind your P’s and Q’s.” Not the old-fashioned version your parents might have said, but one with a deeper, practical twist: P-E-A-S and Q’s.

• People - Notice who’s in the room. How do they carry themselves? Is the mood relaxed, stiff, or silly? What are they talking about—and is there an opening for you to join?

• Environment – Every space has hidden rules. A library expects quiet. A student union expects chatter. A first workplace meeting might expect listening before contributing. Let the environment guide your behavior.

• Action - Look around at what others are actually doing. Are they waiting in line, already seated, mingling? This gives you an instant roadmap for your own actions.

• Similarities - Compare this moment to situations you’ve already been in. What feels familiar? Recognizing sameness helps you blend in faster and feel more at ease.

• Q’s (Cues) - Social cues are everywhere: tone of voice, pace of conversation, small gestures. Pause and pick them up before you dive in.

The key here is slowing down. Take a breath, read the room, and give yourself permission to adjust gradually. Comfort doesn’t come all at once; it builds as you practice.

Parents- this is a great framework to share with your kids. Students—this is a powerful tool for easing anxiety and finding your footing in new spaces.

Coaching prompt: Next time you walk into a new situation, which letter—People, Environment, Action, Similarities, or Q’s—could you pay closer attention to first?